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Black Cocoa Brownies

Too few ratings

Emanuel Burke

Community Member

“All you need to know is that this is as close you will get to a legit oral orgasm—and I mean the kind that collapses the reality of space and time into a moment of pleasure that transports your soul into the heavenly realm. Eat one privately, or with your lover, before eating one in front of friends and family. Then enjoy seeing others have their minds and tongues blown away by the brownie of the gods.”

Difficulty

Easy 👌
30
min.
Preparation
40
min.
Baking
60
min.
Resting

Ingredients

Pieces:-12+
⅔ cup Double Dutch Dark Cocoa
1½ cups sugar
½ cup confectioner’s sugar
¾ tsp salt
1 cup Fine Pastry Flour (Bob’s Red Mill)
½ tsp Baking powder
½ tsp espresso powder
1 cup Dark Chocolate/Semi-Sweet Chips for Baking
Eggs
½ cup Spectrum Culinary Shortening
2 tbsp Water
2 tsp vanilla extract

Utensils

  • aluminum foil
  • parchment paper
  • whisk
  • bowl
  • Glass measuring cup
  • Microwave
  • Whisk
  • Bowl
  • Step 1/7

    • aluminum foil
    • parchment paper

    Preheat Oven 350 degrees. Line an 8-9 inch pan with baking parchment paper or aluminum foil. Spray or lightly grease the paper/foil. Once the brownies have cooled (the flavor is best the day after baking) you can use the paper/foil to remove the giant brownie for easy slicing into reasonably sized brownies.

  • Step 2/7

    • ⅔ cup Double Dutch Dark Cocoa
    • 1½ cups sugar
    • ½ cup confectioner’s sugar
    • ¾ tsp salt
    • 1 cup Fine Pastry Flour (Bob’s Red Mill)
    • ½ tsp Baking powder
    • ½ tsp espresso powder
    • 1 cup Dark Chocolate/Semi-Sweet Chips for Baking
    • whisk
    • bowl

    Whisk together all the dry ingredients in a large bowl: cocoa (must be Dutch processed—don’t use the cheap cocoa), sugars, salt, flour, baking powder, espresso powder, and chocolate chips.

  • Step 3/7

    • Glass measuring cup
    • Microwave

    Scoop out the spectrum shortening into a glass measuring cup. Melt the shortening in the microwave to measure the needed amount. While normal vegetable oil is fine, the shortening is a much stronger binder. It will make the brownies substantial—dense, yet very moist & chewy, and just the right amount of crunch. It’s okay to start drooling now. You’ll thank me when you take your first bite tomorrow.

  • Step 4/7

    • Eggs
    • ½ cup Spectrum Culinary Shortening
    • 2 tbsp Water
    • 2 tsp vanilla extract
    • Whisk
    • Bowl

    Whisk together the eggs, water, and vanilla in a separate bowl until smooth. Make sure the shortening is relatively cool before mixing it in—you don’t want to partially cook the eggs with lava hot shortening.

  • Step 5/7

    Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients with a rubber spatula. The mixture will begin to get very dense and difficult to mix—at this point you can use your hands to make sure everything is well combined.

  • Step 6/7

    “Pour” the mixture of heaven into the prepared pan. It won’t pour. Stop trying. Just get it out with a spatula and/or your hands. It’s worth the mild frustration to do this. Spread it out as best you can inside the pan.

  • Step 7/7

    Bake in the over for 35-45 minutes. Set a timer for 35 minutes. When it goes off, stick a toothpick in the center. If it comes out very wet—as though you put the toothpick in the mixture before ever baking—keep baking that shit another 5 minutes. After 5 min, use a new toothpick to do the same thing. If it’s slightly moist with little brownie crumbs stuck to it, you’re golden. If it’s dry you fucked up. But I really hope that ill fate didn’t befall you.

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